Maple Grove Gazette - June 13, 2026
Maple Grove's Only Newspaper of Record—Vol. 1 No. 9—Edited by Mr. Ellison, Town Archivist & Historian
FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK
It has been, by the standards of this publication, a quiet week in Maple Grove—provided one is willing to classify several hundred cans of silly string and an undisclosed tonnage of water balloons as "quiet." The final bell of the school year rang Friday afternoon, and the annual Battle of the Town Square commenced before the buses had fully cleared the lot. The Gazette notes, as it does every June, that this tradition is tolerated with remarkable good humor by the citizenry, most of whom had the sense to watch from a porch. The village maintenance crew turned out in full force by evening and reports the square restored to order, though the brooms involved are said to be considering retirement. Charlene—who, the record should reflect, was asked by no one to patrol the square, supervise the square, or attend the square in any official capacity whatsoever—stationed herself at its exact center for the duration of Friday's hostilities, presumably so that justice might have a witness. Justice instead had a casualty. A direct silly-string strike to the head necessitated an emergency appointment at Marcy's salon, where the matter was resolved at, the Gazette is told, considerable length and volume. The Gazette would offer sympathy, but Charlene has historically preferred being right to being comforted, so we will offer strategy instead: a darker dress next June—or, daringly, slacks—as pale florals have now been field-tested and found to function chiefly as a target. Graduation season, meanwhile, has begun in earnest. The Tobias family reports their party rental business is booked solid every weekend through the beginning of August, and anyone who has watched the Tobias boys work knows why—they have set-up and breakdown refined to a science. Folding chairs vanish before the last slice of cake is served. The Gazette congratulates this year's graduates and their exhausted, proud families.
📜 POLICE BLOTTER
Chief Carter reports zero citations issued in connection with Friday's hostilities. Two formal complaints regarding water balloon fire were received. One was subsequently withdrawn when the complainant was observed to be holding a balloon at the time of filing. The second was dismissed as Chief Carter had previously reminded citizens to steer clear of the square. He informed the second complainant that wet clothing does not constitute destruction of property. He also suggested that the individual filing the complaint wear something other than a white floral dress on the last day of school if she intends to occupy the square when school is dismissed for the summer. Lastly, the Chief reminds residents that the town square fountain is not a reloading station.
📋 COMMUNITY NOTICES
GRADUATES Families wishing to announce graduates in next week's edition may send names to the Gazette. TOBIAS PARTY RENTALS Booked through early August; the boys suggest reserving September dates now. FOUND One can of silly string, unspent, on the library steps. Inquire within.
🏛️ HISTORICAL NOTE
Several readers have inquired as to when, precisely, the last-day-of-school engagement became tradition. The Gazette's archives record the first organized skirmish in June of 1972, when a graduating class—emboldened by sunshine and the end of final examinations—emptied what the local Ben Franklin's (now defunct) later confirmed was its entire seasonal inventory of silly string in under eleven minutes. The instigator's name is preserved in the archives and will not be printed here, per an agreement this newspaper has honored for fifty-four years. He knows who he is.
🔍 Fellow Sleuths Worth Following
Fellow sleuths, this week's Guest Sleuth Spotlight is a brand-new find: The Poisoned Petal Express by Finley Page. A librarian who lives by lists and schedules inherits a mystery bookstore, boards a train to claim it, and rescues a shivering golden retriever named Bessie—right before a blizzard turns the whole elegant train into a locked room on rails. A poisoned influencer, a magician with a grudge, and a dog with impeccable timing.
It's free right now, and the full spotlight has everything you need: Read the full spotlight →
FREE READS—JUNE TITLES NOW LIVE
Willow's June Free Books are live and waiting on the website. A fresh batch of free cozy mysteries has just gone up on the Free Books page—perfect for loading up the e-reader before the heat sends you indoors with the shades drawn and the fan going.
Help yourself: Browse June's Free Books →
✍️ Behind the Scenes
School's out here too, which means it's officially feet-in-the-kiddie-pool reading season—and my pick for your towel bag this summer is Harvest of Shadows and Dark Brews. Set in the thick of a Maple Grove summer, this is the book where the sunshine gets a shadow. Jenna gets tangled up with the closest thing our little town has ever seen to a cult—and I'm saying no more than that, because watching it unfold is the whole fun. The coffee is strong, the Jeep gets a workout, and Jenna's "Biscuits!" budget runs dangerously low by the final chapters. Same friends, same town square you'd recognize from this very newspaper—just with something moving underneath it.
— Willow 🌿
Meet Willow
Author, School Board member, and gluten-free baker. I write the Jenna McGregor mysteries from my home in Michigan, fueled by coffee and Peloton PRs.
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